How to Figure Out What You Want in the Bedroom

Sex positivity has become more prevalent in recent years, with more and more people starting to speak about it openly. This has helped a lot of individuals and couples start to feel more comfortable discussing their wants and needs when it comes to this intimate part of their lives, but it isn’t always easy.

Not only can these conversations feel a little awkward at first, but there are also many people out there who don’t truly know what they want in the bedroom. Focusing on pleasuring your partner is great, but don’t forget that you need to be having just as good an experience too. This is why it is important to take some time to explore your turn-ons and turn-offs, and here are a few ways to help you figure out what you want in the bedroom.

Keep a Note of Your Sexual Fantasies

The next time you are being intimate with yourself, take note of the fantasies that come into your mind and make you feel the most aroused. If you watch porn, the same rule applies – what are the scenarios that are being played out on screen that work for you?

Whether you choose to remember these fantasies or write them down in a private journal, this can help you to start seeing the bigger picture of what turns you on and why. You can then start to think about ways to incorporate these turn-ons into your sex life with your sexual partners.

Sex Toys Can Help

If you’re trying to figure out what you like when it comes to sex, using sex toys alone at first could be the better option. This gives you complete privacy and takes away any pressure to focus on a partner’s needs, as this time is about what you want. If you’ve not used sex toys before, the idea might be slightly intimidating, but there is no need to be nervous.

There are plenty of options to choose from, and you can start with smaller and more simplistic toys that are perfect for first-timers. You can visit stores like to find a range of sex toys, and you might even find you want to start using them with your sexual partners in the future, too!

Don’t Pressure Yourself

Another thing to keep in mind when you’re trying to explore your sexual needs is to not put yourself under pressure. It can be easy to fall into the trap of spending too much time in your head during or after sex, particularly if you have felt that you haven’t got what you have needed out of your sexual encounters or you’re worried about what others might think, etc.

When you are on this journey, try to relax and remember that this should be a fun exploration for you. Everyone is different, too, so take your time and don’t put pressure on yourself to like certain things or figure out what you want immediately.

Sex is an experience that should be fun and pleasurable, but a lot of people go years not feeling entirely satisfied because they are more preoccupied with giving their sexual partners what they want or shy away from being honest about what they want sexually.

If this does sound familiar to you, but you’re not sure what it is you want in the bedroom, use these tips to take the time to figure that out for better sex in the future.